Let’s talk more about the mind, and specifically, the power of knowing who the ‘F‘ you are. And for the first time, I have also turned my blog into a short vlog, (I am very excited about this) a vlog something I have wanted to do for a long time, and so check this out at the end.
YOU WILL NEED YOUR JOURNAL FOR THIS BLOG, SO GO GRAB IT, I'LL WAIT HERE…
I’ve spent the whole month of February actively and daily doing something to help my own self love, and sharing this on my Instagram, and in my last blog. As I began to delve deeper into to science behind self love, and the power of our thoughts, I came across A LOT of amazing Andra wonderful things, that we can all do to help our mindset, just by getting to know yourself more.
On my research journey I found this quote-apparently Beyoncé said it…
Knowing who you are is the greatest wisdom a human being can possess. Know your goals. What you love, your morals, your needs, your standards what you will tolerate and what you are willing to die for. It defines who you are‘
And so the end of month blog was born, I wanted to find out how we can be Beyonce (only kidding) I wanted to share how everyone can get to know themselves, a little bit more. Unless you're on a journey of self discover and researching for a blog (my hand is raised here) how are you supposed to find out all of these things? This is where I come in, before I start, I’ll share my own journey and where it’s taking me (more detail on this in the vlog)
Who the 'F' am I?...
I am just a normal girl, who decided that she wanted a change, and along the way released that this was something I wanted to share with others, and to guide others in how to improve their own lives. I have struggled in the past (and still today) with anxiety and I would say with my mental health, I am a recovering 'over thinker', and I went cold turkey on 'people pleasing'
and have let my limiting beliefs guide me through life, I have tended to listen to the 'I can't do that' until recently when I started to discover my true self (this is a life long journey BTW)
I am no expert on this, but I am learning, and more importantly-DOING it. I am a firm believer in practice what you preach, and through my blogs, socials, and soon to be coaching, I will be doing exactly that. Recently, I made a decision to make a career change after 10 years (a blog to come on this). This change was prompted when I started my own journey to discover myself and realised the life/career I had was not me- anymore. It was once, but not now. Now, I am not saying that you should and do that same, and go and quit your jobs, as your job is probably for you, but from learning who you are, you might find there are things in your life, which are just not serving you anymore, and they can be changed, or things which you need more of, nothing in life is permanent, apart from your relationship with yourself, hence why it is THE most important relationship you have.
Why is it important to really know yourself?...
If you don't know yourself, how is anyone else meant to get to know you? If other people don't know you, then you might find you go through life doing things to please to requests of other people (people pleasing), you might find it hard to say NO as you don't have boundaries (I am guiltly of all of these) once you know yourself, saying no becomes easier, doing things for you becomes easier. Your confidence grows, you are able to love yourself, and you have the power in making your own decisions.
Ok, so now to get into it, here are 5 of the journal prompts, I used, these will help you to get to know yourself better...
I will shed light of some of my answers in my vlog, I did this work over a longer period of time, so take you time with this, I suggest that you read through these today, and then over the couple of weeks work through the journal tasks, really allow yourself to dig deep-it can be uncomfortable, but the benefits out weigh the discomfort.
1. Try and work out your OWN core values. ..
Your values are basic standards you hold dear that influence your decisions, behaviours, and attitudes. BUT what you think are your core values, may be very different to the truth, you need to scratch away at the surface to find out your own. A lot of our external beliefs and the way we see the world, comes from our up-bringing, and even our friendships groups from when we were children. As an adult, have you ever thought about something or said something and sounded like your parent? I know I have, that was my parents core belief passed onto me, however, as we grow up and experience our own lives, we need to create our own.
Think of two people you admire. What traits do you admire in these people and why?
Thinking of a time when you felt really proud. What happened? Did you help someone? Achieve a goal? Stand up for your rights or those of someone else?
Thinking about what issues you are most passionate about in your community or the world. This can be anything at all. Where does this passion come from?
What three items you would save if your house were on fire (not living things) Why would you save these three things?
Now look at your answers here, there may be a pattern or a theme, this will give you your core value/s. Write these down. Then answer the last question- HONESTLY.
Looking at the core values you picked out, do you live by your own core values? Or are some of these hidden away?
2. Be proud of yourself...
Imagine you are 100 years old, telling your life story. Would you be proud telling your story, or does this bring fear to mind.
Make a list of all your achievements ALL of them, go way back- maybe been being the Bethlehem star in your primary school performance.
Be careful with this, as some things might come up that, you're not proud of, and this is ok. We all have things we may be ashamed of doing, but that's life, think about overall are you proud of what you're doing, doing this journal task should make you feel proud.
3. Money, money, money...
When we're children we often have BIG dreams for ourselves. As we get older, and more influenced by society, we alter those dreams, because we realise they cost money, our dreams of having 10 horses, and a mansion, disappear when we see how expensive these things are. But, going back to your child hood dreams will tell you a lot about you, but my childhood dream was to live in NYC and have a huge Penthouse, and laze around being a Business Women, there was nothing at the time stopping me from doing this, but some where along the line I gave up my dream (I am still digging to find out where this change happened) Fast forward 20 years later, I am working towards my 16 year old dream, albeit a different city, and I know that at some point I will live in NYC for a time.
Go back to a time when you had an undeniable dream to do something, a dream you shut out because it wasn't the right time or your money wasn't sufficient. Write down how you would spend your day if you didn't have to consider your financial status. How would you live your life?
4. What if I fall, oh but what if you fly...
We often miss out on amazing opportunities or don't take chances because we worry that we will fall flat on our faces. Self-doubt can define your whole life, if you don't work to overcome it. Sadly, it can also strongly impact the amount of "what if's" you have as you age. By looking at how we deal with these situations or would deal with these situations will tell you A LOT about how strong you are, even when you think you're not.
When was the last time you made a mistake (in your eyes) or something ended badly? How did you react to this? How did you learn from it?
Imagine the situation above went differently, rewrite it so that you can imagine yourself it going a different way? Explain what happened in this version and how you feel.
5. Ask others their interpretations of you as a person.
I saved the hardest for last. Ask 3 people closest to you to tell you who they think you are. Let them know why you are doing this, and you need to have a hard skin and tell them there's no hard feelings. When I did this I asked for 3 things they liked about me and 3 things they would change, it was lovely to hear the 3 things they liked, as these were things that I had not even thought of myself, and the 3 things to change, I could not argue with at all. They were things that I knew were hidden in my shadow.
How did others describe you? Were you surprised by their assessments? Were you upset? Do these interpretations fit with the person you want to be or how you view yourself?
If you value the opinions of these people, then you can ask yourself what you need to do to create more harmony with how they view you and how you view yourself. Maybe you have a skewed view of yourself and need to reevaluate your actions.
Now for your first date with yourself...
I know there is a lot here, but come back to it, revisit the journal entries or even dwell on some of the questions before you answer them, you will probably end up going off on a tangent when doing these which is great you really want to delve deep.
Hopefully, you will also uncover something you can change right now.
Here is a direct link to my VLOG where `I go into a bit more detail, and you will also get to know me a bit better as well. I am excited to share this mindfullness jounray with you, please contact me if you have any questions.
Magic Always, Joanne xx